The day’s end, another moment to reflect.

Dearest Diary,

Have you ever felt like the harder you work, the more is expected of you? Lately, I’ve been wrestling with that question, wondering how I ended up in this cycle of constant effort with little to show for it.

Sometimes it feels like people expect too much. When something appears effortless, it’s easy for others to assume it’s simple. The reality is, even the easiest tasks take time, and time is the most valuable asset we have.

The Weight of Disparity
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how time and effort often feel undervalued. Picture this: ten complex tasks completed within an hour, compared to someone else handling a fraction of that workload for a higher reward. It’s a disparity that’s hard to ignore, especially when the contributions feel visibly unbalanced.

Research in the Journal of Occupational Health (2018) highlights how perceived inequities in effort and reward can lead to burnout. It’s no wonder the frustration feels so draining—it’s hard to maintain motivation when the scales feel perpetually tipped against you.

A Familiar Frustration
Systemically, I understand there are flaws—a level of persuasion, maybe even manipulation, to get what you want in the workplace. Managers do it, and employees mirror it in their own way. But this frustration isn’t new. It lingered six months ago and likely even further back.

What makes it harder to process this time is the sense of being misled. I was promised that by taking this position, I’d quickly move up. Instead, when the next level came, the promises fell short. Yes, I made my case and received an adjustment, but it still wasn’t what was initially offered.

And now, I find myself training team members who’ve been here longer, all while earning less.

Interestingly, a study in Industrial Relations (2020) found that pay transparency often reduces feelings of inequity and improves morale. It makes me wonder how much frustration could be avoided if everyone knew where they stood.

The Cost of Raising the Bar
To circle back, being asked to take on additional duties feels like a slap in the face. What part of my already full plate am I supposed to clear without it seeming like I’m slacking? Through my own doing, I’ve raised the bar of expectations so high that if I were to match the effort of others, I’d be seen as underperforming.

It’s a frustrating cycle: trying to exceed expectations to prove worth, only to feel trapped by those very expectations.

The Illusion of Security
As the world shifts and industries face uncertainty, there’s a sense of comfort in striving for job security. But here’s the catch: job security, as I once learned in a psychology class, isn’t what people seek anymore. Instead, they focus on building skills—tools that grant freedom and opportunity.

Research in the Journal of Applied Psychology (2016) highlights how emotional comfort in familiar routines often outweighs the potential benefits of change. It’s a reminder of why seeking security feels easier than embracing growth.

The Fear of Change
Change disrupts the comfort of familiarity—be it the people, the routine, or the benefits. By chasing security, I’ve traded growth for continuity, adaptability for stability. It’s a hard trade, but it’s one I’ve willingly made for now.

Closing Thoughts
I know this is something I’ll need to revisit in the future, hopefully this year. For now, though, I feel a bit lighter having shared this with you, Diary. Thanks for listening as always.

Yours in letters, always,
Pandora

P.S. If you’re reading this now, welcome to my late-night musings. If you’re catching up later, I’d love to hear your thoughts—leave a comment or connect with me on social!